Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
