I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize