You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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