the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
