She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is Oprah even human
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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