I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
