I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
