Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
