And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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