Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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