He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
