I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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