Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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