I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
