btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
