I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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