You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
His nipple licking is glorious
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