That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize