Screwed.edu
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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