PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize