Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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