it's like iHOP with fire
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
