i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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