he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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