he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
