Kiss
Puke
Actions speak louder than pants.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
