idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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