I wanna bring you to show and tell
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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