i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I wish there were birth control emojis
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
