everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
