Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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