Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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