I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
