No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
