sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
