I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
