East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize