I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
