dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
