you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize