Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
