sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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