I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
