Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
