You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
