'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
