The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
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