But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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