just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize