So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
