he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
