Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
