Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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