I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
