is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
