No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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