so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
