i already hear my dad disowning me
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
