Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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