Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
