Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
