'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
