where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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