All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize